Thought I was in Trouble

This month I thought I wasn't going to make it on my good deeds, but I can say that I'm successful without even trying.

First deed may not really count because I am the one to receive it, but it was in the spirit of it so I get to count it because I'm the judge of this thing anyway.  I had called my friend freaking out, as I usually do, over work and left a panicked message. I then snidely told her to get back to me ASAP. It is a joke between us because I constantly call her and it takes a week or two for her to get back to me.  I didn't have a week this time and it drives me insane that she can't promptly get back to me.  So she called me back really late that day and left a message because I was working.  It was a rushed brain barf of a message and at the end of it she said really quickly, "You'll do great. I love you! Bye."  I was really surprised (eyebrow lifting, pulled up short, surprised).  She and I aren't super close, and I usually say something totally inappropriate to her in personal emotional situations that we talk about. So we don't close our conversations with trite and casual phrases. Anyway I was really touched because she meant it.  It had totally slipped out of her mouth because she was talking so fast in a total distracted manner.  I didn't realize how much it meant to me because I had this funny voice in my head that said, "See someone besides Daniel would care if you were dead."  I told the voice to shut up because I already have a sick fascination with death and being prepared for it, so I didn't need to start dwelling on that. 

So yeah doing something good without the person knowing that is the theme of the month.  This one I truly didn't know I was doing anything great even as it was told to my face.  I was out with a buddy of my from church doing our Visiting Teaching.  We use this as an excuse to get together since our lives are so busy (I don't even know how or why we became friends since we have seen each other a handful of times, but hey we clicked).  Anyway for once it got off the beaten track and we were laughing because she had said that her really good friend went to Paris and didn't even get her a crummy "My friend went to Paris and all I got was a T-shirt" shirt.  And she looked at me and I kept thinking, "Geez that person is a jerk" and I realize she was making fun of me and I didn't  even get it for a while, but then I  did I started to laugh (I don't do giving junk unless it speaks to me of that person).  Later on the conversation turned serious and she was telling someone that she didn't want her Visiting Teachers or her Visiting Teaching companion to change because that has been the biggest help in her life right now.  I knew who her teachers were, but for the life of me I couldn't think who her companion was and I was kind of jealous. And then it totally dawned on me she was talking about me.  I busted laughing because I didn't see myself that way.  I saw myself as her friend, and I am always the one that is just a friend and not "the life saving friend."  She looked at me, and I explained that I was trying to figure out who her companion was until it finally hit me. She thought I was the biggest ditz, but I must have been having a rough night not to be putting two an two together.